Last night a lifelong dream of mine came true. I went to a New Kids on the Block concert. Now, leading up to the concert most people laughed when I told them what I was going to do. I have to admit that I was a little embarrassed myself, but this was a chance I could not miss. However, nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to experience.
You see The New Kids on the Block marked a very important period in my life. They hit it big in 1989. My obsession with NKOTB (as Tiger Beat affectionately referred to them) triggered the movement from little awareness of the fact that I was female to an obsession poured into five boys from Boston (Joey, Jordan, Donny, Danny, and Jonathan). We are talking about the wholehearted devotion of a 7-year-old girl, not a thing to be taken lightly. The fact that I had all five dolls, the sleeping bag, and posters covering my walls was only a symbol of the sheer unadulterated love that my heart held for them. I would give anything to find the diary I kept where I described what would happen when Jordan and I finally met. I’m pretty sure it involved him agreeing with the fact that I was prettier than Brooke Murawski, my on-again off-again BFF at the time.
Sadly, my love affair with the New Kids was to be short lived. As they gained in popularity their music grew more and more risqué. While I had no idea what any of it meant (and maybe still don’t), my mom sure did. She gently told me to ask Jesus what he would think of me listening to those songs. I still feel fairly convinced that even Jesus loves the song Hangin’ Tough, but mom managed to successfully guard the purity if my ears for a little while longer. I can’t remember it very clearly (probably repressed painful memories), but shortly afterward, the New Kids broke up. A world that was once painted with colorful oversized t-shirts and rattails suddenly went grey. And it stayed gray for 15 years.
Six months ago I heard the news I’d been waiting 15 years to hear. New Kids on the Block were reuniting and going on tour. I kid you not, I marked the day that tickets were going on sale on my calendar, and logged into Ticketmaster first thing in the morning. With a defiant nod to my scorned 7-year-old self I purchased two tickets.
If you think the power that emanates from a stadium full of adolescent girls toward a pop star is powerful, you cannot begin to imagine the sexually charged energy of 20,000 women (not girls) who put their love on hold 15 years ago and suddenly have a second chance. A sold out stadium full of 25-40 year olds who dusted off their club clothes and busted out the Wonder Bras (which THIS time, unlike in 1989, they can actually fill) is a powerful thing.
I am not pointing fingers. I place myself squarely in the midst of the frenzy, except I was wearing a vintage New Kids t-shirt borrowed from a friend. When those five middle-aged men rose from the floor on stage I jumped, screamed, and waved my hands fully regressing into the obsession. It tapped into something powerful for me. Last time these guys were on my radar, I was a young girl without any ability to actually get to a concert, much less convince Jordan or Joey what a good girlfriend I could be to them. I was powerless to do anything about my love but ache. But THIS time was different. I am a grown woman. I have a job and can buy my own tickets. I go to seminary and pick up Masters degrees. Sometimes I stay out really late with my friends and nobody can tells me not to. If I bumped into them, and didn’t fall down from shock, I might actually be able to carry on some form of witty conversation with them. At least I like to think so. I believe there was something in that for all of us there. It’s as if we got to travel back into time, but with more power.
I’m not quite sure what to do with New Kids on the Block now. The years have been good to them. I’ll always love them for what they gave me: oversized t-shirts to wear to pool parties, pages upon pages of diary fodder, and baby steps into womanhood. But just like them, I’ve grown up too. New men have come into my life. Justin Timberlake. Zac Efron. Jim from The Office. A girl can’t wait around forever. I experienced the thrill of seeing my first love again, and for that I will forever be grateful. Now I move forward, Step by Step. But this time, it’s on my terms. Thanks for the memories boys!
