Advent and dog poo

I have the greatest dog in the world. I adopted Jasper from a shelter a year and a half ago and feel grateful for him every day. All he has to do is look at me and I crack up. And he is the best cuddler ever… except for taking over my queen size bed, every night. I walk him every morning, and every night. 94% of the time, I am great at picking up after him. But every once in a while, if it’s a multiple poo kind of walk and I run out of bags, I leave it. Yes, I’m ashamed to admit it. I’m “that” neighbor. It’s a rarity, but it has happened.

This morning I got totally nailed for it. While taking Jasper on the usual stroll down Montecito, a woman in a mini-van from a house I recognize pulled up next to me and said, “My neighbor says you’ve been leaving poop on my lawn.” Uhhhhh… I panicked. I was clearly holding a bag of poop, so there’s evidence that I do pick it up. But in the back of my mind, I knew I was guilty of this offense (but seriously, this has only happened a COUPLE of times). But what was I to do in that moment? I mumbled, I was awkward, I told her I was sorry, and she drove off angry.

Okay, so what are we supposed to do when confronted by the factthat not only are we imperfect, but we’ve made our neighbors lives worse? In my grandiose “It’s a Wonderful Life” daydreams, I like to think that everyone’s life is better because I’m in it. I’m pretty sure this isn’t true all the time, but I at least want to arc in that direction. However, I was, realizing that these neighbors of mine must have a pretty low opinion over me. Because of poo.

I walk of shamed it home, drove to work, and started thinking. What was there to do but offer a real, sincere apology… and cookies? As much as I want to deny it, or justify myself, I needed to apologize, and make it good. So I felt anxious about it all day, but as soon as I got home I revved up the oven and popped in some chocolate chip cookies. Then I sat down with 4 note cards and started writing. At one point I almost talked myself out of it, convinced that normal people just feel kind of bad, gripe about it to their boyfriends (which I did), and move on with their night. But something just kept tugging me. This is the season of Advent, looking forward to Christ incarnated in the world. So here I am in the (literal) mess of the world, what would Christ have me do?

“Dear neighbor, you spoke to me today about… I am ashamed to admit that on a few occasions I have… I am so sorry and promise to never do it again. If you’d like to express further frustration please call me at… May this season be filled with joy and love for you and your family…. Sincerely, Kristin Flores.”

Oh the humiliation of writing an “I’m sorry for dog poo” card! But I did it. I wrote 4 of them actually (3 for the surrounding neighbors), packed up 4 baggies of fresh chocolate chip cookies and set out. On the 3 surrounding houses I left cookies and card and ran. Didn’t really feel like explaining myself there. But at the woman’s house that talked to me, I rang the bell. Lots of big dogs were barking just inside the door, but she finally made it out, and looked completely bewildered to see me.

Unsure of what to do, I just launched in. “You spoke with me, I’m so sorry…” Pretty much a recap of the note. I think I might have looked pretty pathetic standing there in the cold, earnestly apologizing for dog poo while holding a bag of cookies and a note. Finally, as I came to the end of my sorry apology, she looked at me with tears in her eyes and pulled me in for a hug, telling me that the neighbors have actually be doing this to her for a long time, and that they were looking for someone else to blame and that of course it was ok.

Then we shared each others names, and shook hands. This is a neighbor I have lived near for a year and a half, and only now did we meet. It turned into a really beautiful moment that I’m not sure what to do with just yet. It was only after facing up to the ugly dog-poo related offense that we got to connect as humans.

There are about 19 trite morals of the story that I could bust out right now. But I’ll let you use your imagination.

We humans (and stray dogs) sure find each other in the funniest ways.

List #1

Meandering through Target today I had a thought… I have a lot of background guilt in my life for just a few things. There seem to be some recurring players, messages of condemnation that keep popping up about the same issues. Really, they boil down to the following two puzzle pieces: Spiritual and Physical life and upkeep.
While I realize that we never truly arrive, I also know that there are some things we can put in place that will significantly increase the quality and impact of life. So, I present you to my list, and invite you to suggest new list items or join in.

1. Bible
Read daily – This isn’t rocket science here. But I’ve fallen off the wagon in a major way. So I’m starting slow, but I’ll move through Ephesians for the next month or so. And journal. Journaling is important.

Memorize – I am terrible at slowing down. I like to jam through something and move on. I haven’t slowed down enough to memorize scripture in years. But I remember times in my life where I did this, and those scriptures still jump to my mind easily. Galatians 2:20 is always there. So I think it’s time to take advantage of my sedentary work space, and hang a scripture up in front of my desk once a week. Take 20 minutes to memorize it. And marinate in it for the rest of the week. First up is Ephesians 1:4-6.

2. Eat better (i.e. less carbs and sugar) – Like many women I do a lot of tying my self-esteem with my waistline. In some ways I’ve come a long way, thanks to realizing that love surpasses the beauty I see when I look in the mirror. But… this is a health issue. I want healthy bones and organs for a long time. And I want to feel good and energetic. Less diabetes, more life. So, next stop: South Beach Diet. Ugh… I miss bread already.

3. Oral hygiene (floss and Listerine) – I used to floss 2 weeks out of the year. 1 week prior to each dental cleaning (every 6 months) to temporarily toughen up my gums to minimize pain and embarrassment as the dental hygienist realizes how much I suck at flossing. But now I am realizing that flossing is not really for that purpose. Healthy gums people, healthy gums. So there’s that.

4. Continue exercising – I already exercise but I am expanding my horizons beyond 24 Hour Fitness drudgery into mountain biking and trail running.

5. Eat calcium vitamins daily – We all age. In church this week Mark Pickrell said that age is the collision of experience and deterioration. But maybe we don’t need to live on the fast track of deterioration. While admitting that silver hair will come, might as well do as much as possible to avoid broken hips and hump backs.

There you have it. These are the same things I’ve been working on for years. But I’m writing them down and putting them out there, so I’m hoping this marks a new level in working on them. There are a few more important things (get more sleep, serve more, save money monthly), but I didn’t want to overwhelm myself. Those go on the next list. For now, first stop… Ephesians 1:4-6.

Comic Con - Where have you been all my life?

Have you ever come across something for the first time, and realized you’ve been missing it your whole life? This is how I feel about Comic Con. I wish I’d written this blog 2 months ago when it was all still fresh in my mind. But better now than never.

When Joey and I first started dating he told me he’d take me to Comic Con in July. I was into him from minute 1 on New Year’s Eve, but this was still a big selling point. I’d heard of Comic Con. I mostly knew that people dressed up like Storm Troopers and Klingons. Even that was enough to make me want to go. But then I found out it was Mecca for all things pop culture, which I love. I realize a lot of people think Comic Con has sold out… moved away from the true source material… blah blah blah. I loved it.

I’ve always been a person who likes to be around fans. Not fans in anything specific. Just fans. I just love people who love great stuff. Usually if that fandom is not within the sports category these folks are moved to the margins of society (or the lame section of lockers in high school). But at Comic Con, these guys are King.

Of course my brand of poison is in the nerd category. If you’re talking about Lord of the Rings, anything by Joss Whedon, or Star Wars, I’m listening. I love sitting in line to get into the newest movie based off a comic book, mostly for the conversations I get to overhear. At movie theaters, those numbers usually top at a few hundred people. But Comic Con… 150,000 lovers of awesome stuff.

At Comic Con you wait all day (and night) to get into the good panels. This is where we get to see all the awesome actors, actresses, directors, and authors of the sweetest movies coming out in the next year. We did it all. We stayed out all night to get into Hall H on Thursday. Totally worth it to see the Tron Legacy panel and about 8 other rockin’ panels. The Chanel 8 News people came out to the line that night to interview us weirdos about why on earth we would do such a thing. They didn’t have much interest in talking to Joey and me, but only because they didn’t realize how awesome we are.

The panels were sweet. I don’t really feel like I need to write a lot about them. We saw dozens of incredible actors. Harrison Ford came for the FIRST time ever to Comic Con and we got to see that. A guy stabbed another guy with a pen over some sort of seat dispute, we were there for that. We did it all.

But even better than the cool panels and amazing displays in the exhibit hall, were the people. Here’s what stood out to me at Comic Con: there is no hierarchy of cool. It’s just a bunch of people who like cool stuff, coming together to talk about that cool stuff. Fans, true fans. No need to worry about fashion, or hair products, or even hygiene for that matter really (no judgment here). I think a lot of these folks live on a steady diet of hot pockets and Mountain Dew in dark rooms while playing video games. But at Comic Con that’s okay! It’s just people who love stuff, loving it together. This was one of the first places I’ve ever gone where we could get our eyes off of ourselves, and onto more important matters… like the shocking lack of security on the Darth Star.

Comic Con 2011 or bust!!!

Negotiating Gender Roles

Today's conversation over lunch with Joey:

Kristin: Someday you're going to have to be the head of the house.
Joey: What does that mean?
Kristin: I don't know.
Joey: Maybe it means I take out the trash.
Kristin: Yeah that's what it means. And that you mow the lawn.
Joey: Ok.
Kristin: And empty the dishwasher.
Joey: What are you going to do?
Kristin: I'm going to have babies someday.
Joey: What are you going to do in the meantime?
Kristin: I'm gonna take care of my ovaries.
Joey: How do you do that?
Kristin: I don't know.
Joey: I think the best way to take care of ovaries is to wear sweatpants, lay on the couch, and eat cheese puffs.
Kristin: Yeah, that sounds about right.

What I did on summer vacation

It’s been hard to update the blog this summer because I’ve been hanging out in somewhat of a limbo state. I found myself unexpectedly unemployed this summer without knowing exactly what my next move looked like. So I waited, and played. Fortunately this week I was offered a job at Life Pacific College. I’ll be the “Ignite Experience Integration Liason.” How’s that for a job title? :) But I’m very excited about the work. Basically I’ll be helping bring some of the things we’ve put into place in Ignite, to LPC. Work is good. So that’s the job situation.

In the meantime… this summer I went to Honduras, Hawaii, Las Vegas, and Comic Con. Fun-employment indeed!

At the beginning of June, Joey and I traveled to San Pedro Sula, Honduras to work with one of our Ignite mission teams. This was a really unexpected trip, we had one day to prepare and then hop on a plane to go do some outreaches and help the team process what had been a very difficult trip. It was BLAZING hot in Honduras, but the people and food were wonderful. It was an amazing gift to do what I love most in working with this team. Getting to do that with Joey was beyond awesome. Plus, my Catholic boyfriend got to see people slain in the Spirit at a church service with 10,000 people, so that was pretty excellent… ;)

It had been decided on sometime before that my season with Ignite was going to come to a close at June 12. Even though I’d had time to prepare for it, there was still a real sadness in my heart as I left something I’ve poured so much of myself into over the last few years. Fortunately my new job will be very involved with Ignite and I’ll be on the campus with everyone so I can stay connected.

I spent the last 2 weeks of June with my cousins and Grandma. Joey joined us for the second week. This was the last time we were able to spend at the house my Grandpa bought and remodeled in Maui. It was a really beautiful way to say goodbye to the place that holds so many memories for us. As usual, joy and grief were mixed together into something precious.

I went to Vegas for a weekend because my parents were there on their way back from their Route 66 motorcycle trip and didn’t have much else going on. Mostly it was a chance to ride in the MGM Grand lazy river.

And Comic Con. Comic Con deserves its own blog. In fact, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

To be continued…

My night with the bachelors and bachelorettes. "Reality" tv indeed.

Last night I did something few people actually get to do... I went to a Bachelorette viewing party with a bunch of previous Bachelors and Bachelorettes. I have to admit that I didn't know exactly what I was getting into. I'm not a big Bachelor fan. Call me crazy but I feel like searching for love by competing with 25 other (surgically enhanced) chicks for 1 guy's attention isn't my cup of tea. And the awkwardness of the show wears me out. But my beloved roommate Susan LOVES it, so I've recently started watching it with her, mostly because I love processing the most recent episode with her while we're getting ready for work in the morning.

My other beloved roommate/aunt Nikki is friends with one of the bachelors from the season of Bachelorette starring Jillian. He will remain unnamed in this blog. But if you ask me in person I'll tell you. They hung out this weekend, and he mentioned this viewing party he was going to attend, that would be taking place at a club in Hollywood, and that several other previous "contestants" would be attending. Those of you who know me are probably aware of the fact that I prefer sweatpants and my DVR to getting floozed up and heading into Hollywood. But how could I resist going with Susan who has been following this show for years and was so excited about the idea of hanging out with these people? So, wearing black skinny jeans and accessories, off we went to Hollywood.

The first good sign of the night was that we got a parking spot on the street right in front of the club. The second good sign was when we walked up to the velvet rope, and told them we were there for the Bachelorette viewing party, they unclipped that velvet rope and let us in. After that things started to get a little weird...

Susan and I walked in and went to the bar first, to get the lay of the land. I thought the bar tender was your average run of the mill martini shaker, until Susan said to him, "I know who you are. You're Robby B. You got left in the middle of the rocky mountains." Turns out our bartender was a previous bachelor contestant in the Jillian season as well! Super nice and friendly guy. I love Robby B.

Then, we proceeded to walk into the room with a small group of people (clearly reality tv "stars") sitting on couches in front of a tv, and... lights and cameras. We went and met up with the previously unnamed Bachelor. I introduced myself to a woman at the table. She told me she was Sharon from E! and asked who I'm with. I looked at her awkwardly, and said, "huh?" She then informed me that this was an E! taping of the Bachelorette viewing party for previous contestants. Whoops... Susan and I were totally crashing this taping.

At first Susan and I tried to score one of the seats near the television, until a camera guy with a boom mic started coming around to all the people sitting down and asked their name and what season they were on. At that point Susan and I promptly made ourselves scarce and sat in the back. Oh how I wish I'd made up a fake name and said I was on season 2 with Jesse Palmer!!! I feel like I could have gotten away with it.

I wish I could say that the people were super nice and that they're just like us. They're not really. These poor people are all trying so hard to put up a beautiful front, it aches with emptiness. As we watched their interactions with each other, and heard them reflecting on their time with the show, I felt like the best they can hope for is having someone decide that they want to buy into the facade. Not too much being real with each other in this context. It kind of felt like all that beauty has to be lonely.

One bachelor did bring me a shrimp taco wrapped in tin foil, which I promptly stuck in my purse.
On the way out Susan and I had a pretty jarring interaction with one of the bachelors. This was one that she'd had a crush on from the Jillian season who apparently was super sweet and caring. I can't remember his name at the moment, but he's the one that had a winery. Anyway... we went to chat with him because Susan wanted a picture. During our whole conversation he looked past us. Since we were on our way out anyway, I wanted to ask him some real questions, so I asked if it's super being awkward on the show because it doesn't seem at all like actual dating. He then proceeded to describe how "not real" it actually was. He told us that the minute he saw Jillian he knew he wasn't into her. She's 5' and 100 lbs. and he's looking for a "bombshell." I knew he'd made it pretty far into the season, so I asked if he just faked the whole thing. He then proudly said, "I liked the entire time. I just had to get to the hometown date to get publicity for my winery. I am the world's best liar."

How is one to respond to a statement like this? This guy was moderately cute. I think he is used to chicks fawning all over him, and maybe thought we were some of those chicks. Or maybe we didn't matter. But all I could do was look at him and say, "World's best liar huh? Well, everyone's gotta be good at something."

Susan and I were pretty outraged on the way out that guys like this exist in the world. Or people like this. Love, true love, is the most beautiful thing in the world. It brings out the beauty in the other person, it's self-sacrificing, it's full of hope, and joy. So this guy, who made a mockery out of love, gets his 15 minutes of fame. (Picture me flailing my arms in anger and stomping my feet).

My first response was what I thought was righteous indignation, but now I'm wondering if it was a little bit more self-righteousness. These are broken people, and the world buys into the consumption of their missing the mark about love.

I'm still processing through all of this, but I guess I was shocked by how ugly the backside of reality tv is. It's not reality at all. It's this crazy fake world, and I'm pretty sure people are missing out on the beauty of actual reality. Of letting another person seeing you as you truly are, and loving that about you.

In a nutshell, here's the lesson from the night:
Extra dirty martini - $15
Parking ticket from that sweet spot in front of the club - $55
Being eternally grateful for the actual real love in my life - priceless.

Random updates

Okay... quick updates.
This weekend Joey and I celebrated our 4 month anniversary, which also happens to be a record for my longest relationship. Still goin' strong, he is the greatest of all time.
Lots of travels coming up...
Foursquare Convention at the beginning of June (not my favorite event of the year due to all the small talk and sitting in services)
Hawaii at the end of June with cousins and grandma. Joey is joining for the second week, which I am so excited about. Trying to prep him for the fact that I mostly like to lay around in Hawaii. This shouldn't come as too much of a shock since in all actuality, I like laying around all the time. Sweatpants anyone?
Comicon in July - time for me to really embrace my nerd self. Working on the Princess Leia slave outfit. Nothing a white bikini and bottle of gold spraypaint can't handle.
Still working on the epic trip for August. Maybe camping.
Life continues to be good. The roommates are most excellent. Unfortunately our landlord has put our house up for sale, so there is a chance we might have to move... :/ One of the downsides to this exciting life of mobility, is that I pretty much have to move every year. I've moved 9 times since I graduated high school. So, please feel free to pray that we don't have to move. At present, my roommates and I are working on sabotage strategies for the sale of the house.

Single Ladies

For those of you who don't know, my life group has been one of the most wonderful anchoring forces in my life during the past 2 years. It's been one of the most incredible, authentic expressions of what it means to experience the loving Body of Christ within community I've ever known. These are a bunch of hilarious chicks who I love dearly.
Together we've survived the business of grad school, endured tragedies, commiserated over being trundled (definition of trundled: when an older sibling has to share a bedroom with niece or nephew, sleeping on a trundle bed, while the younger sibling shares a bedroom with his or her spouse), and now the joys of seeing our friend get married!
This year we had the privilege of seeing Dan Kramer come into Julie Way's life and sweep her off her feet. At a time when many of us had started to lose hope, this reminded us of what could be around the corner. So, as a life group, we knew we had to send Julie off in a special way... :)

Epic Starts Here

"Epic starts here." - This is the newly discovered slogan of the Puma Lounge, which is the name of my house. Taylor Lautner definitely pulls Nikki, Susan, and myself into cougar territory but we haven't fully embraced the lifestyle of buying playstations for college boys yet. Yet.
Anyway, epic starts here. Ever since Susan and Nikki moved into this house, and Joey came on the scene, every weekend has been remarkably epic. But not just epic in the sense of events that merit facebook photo albums, even though those do happen regularly. A few weeks ago I went to bed at 8:00pm on a Friday night. The next morning I woke up, and was so pumped to tell my roommates about my epic night of sleep. Joey and I have donated blood twice this year - epic. We eat shells n cheese with crushed red pepper on top regularly - epic. Nikki and I have been getting up at 5:30am for morning devotions during Lent - epic.
A few weeks ago, the roomies and I walked to downtown Sierra Madre to get breakfast at a really lovely and quaint outdoor cafe. There was perfect music playing, nice clouds in the sky, hoodies on, sparklingly witty conversation, and we were feelin' it. At one point, Susan pointed out "I love that we savor things." This is a true statement, we really do savor things. In fact, as I laughingly pointed out to Susan at that point, apparently, we savor that we savor things.
I heard once that "Joy is enjoying another person enjoying you enjoying that other person." This is where I think the true epicness of the season enters in. There is this truly amazing combination in my life right now of people enjoying each other, and it really just builds on itself.
Of course, there are things worthy of enjoying right now. Joey finally came on the scene. He is quite possibly the best, most generous, funniest, all around greatest person I've ever met. More on that, but I don't want to overwhelm this "interweb" thing with too much sap. But let it suffice to say, he is sap worthy.
My roommates, Susan and Nikki, hit on all cylinders of awesomeness. I live in a house of good food, space to process the hard and real stuff (like that time I almost had a nervous breakdown after a horoscope reading), funny dogs, excellent boy talk, rock band, laughter (lots of it), raucous parties and morning devotions together.
My folks actually did get that house in Sierra Madre! After years of praying prayers that felt unanswered, God comes through in a way none of us could have dared to actually hope for. Isn't that just like Him... Epic.
Okay, I do not mean to overwhelm all 6 of my readers with talking about all the good stuff in my life. But this is my point - epic starts here. It's an internal thing. It's a choice to savor little things, like going to bed at 8pm on a Friday night. It's a choosing to invite others into your life for the hard and real and funny stuff.
Paradise is realizing what you have when you have it - Epic.

Okay okay, I'm back. For real this time.

Apparently I'm awesome at writing one post on a blog, and then abandoning it for a year. But then I'm also awesome at coming back. So here I am.

It's been quite a year. We're coming up on the year anniversary of my dad's heart attack, which was sort of the moment in time where things shifted. Thankfully he survived it just fine, but it still felt like a loss of innocence. It left me with the same feeling I had when we lost my grandpa to pancreatic cancer in 2006, like the rules changed on us without anyone letting us know this was going to happen. For a pretty complete chronicling of that journey, visit http://www.tomhardeman.blogspot.com/. Anyway, now here I stand on the other side of it, with a new worldview in which joy and sorrow are two sides of the same coin. Each influences the other; without each we we wouldn't have the other.

These are happy days I live in now though. Still praying for things to get easier on my folks, hoping that they can find a new version of their dream house and move out to Sierra Madre. But my life is filled with lots of laughter, and joy, beautiful friendships and love. Things I'd given up on, showed up at my door, with flowers, delicious snacks, and my favorite video game.

I'm still not sure about this blog business, or if I'll be able to come up with interesting things to write, or if anyone will ever read it, but I feel like I have stories, and I want to tell them. So, wide world of the interweb (and probably mostly my parents and the occasional friend), hello.